Easton Edward Holland

Well, baby Easton should be here within the next couple of weeks. I've been blessed with an easy pregnancy. I didn't experience more than 3 days of morning sickness, although for the full first trimester I couldn't stand the thought of meat or dairy products. So, I definitely had some food aversion. I haven't experienced the infamous pregnancy heart burn either. The only thing that has made this experience uncomfortable is the constant back ache that started around 17 or 18 weeks. It hasn't been anything that some Tylenol wasn't able to help though. At 36 weeks, I'm still fascinated every time I feel him move or (now that he's big enough) see him move as my belly changes form with his wiggling. I can't help but blurt out to the person next to me, "Did you see that!? Whoa!" when he pushes my belly out in one spot. I'm sure I sound a bit like a 5 year old watching American Ninja Warriors (which by the way, I recommend watching. It's pretty cool). It also still surprises me every night at how retarded and crazy my dreams are. Most of them are hilarious, but there have been a few really awful ones that still somehow are kind of funny just because of how ridiculous they are. Here's a good example of that:
In one dream, something happens to Brad. I don't know exactly what happens, but he's hurt. However, we weren't together when it happened (married-yes, just physically apart). I was walking around this huge mall when a stranger (civilian, I might add) tells me that my husband is going to receive some kind of therapy for his injuries. I wonder in the dream how this man knows me or Brad, but dismiss it and go to the nearest desk that I see. It looks like an entrance to a movie theater in the sense that it's a small room and you talk to the clerk through a glass window with a slot for exchanging money for tickets. It is covered in flashy gold lights and says "Majestic" in neon lights vertically down the side of the kiosk that blink on and off. I ask the woman inside where Brad Holland is located and she tells me he's on his way to "Coney Island OT" (as in occupational therapy). That's right, coney island... I told you these dreams are nuts. I am then frantically trying to find this place and finally a security guard gives me directions. He tells me that Coney Island OT is located near the dip 'n dots right outside the main entrance to the mall. I go outside, find the dip 'n dots and see a sign for the clinic. I go in. All of a sudden, beyond the door, it's not a room or a building but instead I'm outside on a huge pier. I see a large group of people sitting next to a concession stand and I go sit down behind them. I hear them talking about their family member who was in an accident and they don't know if the person will live or not. I soon realize that this is no ordinary OT clinic, but instead it's kind of like an ICU except you're outside on a pier with a carnival, watching people being wheeled in and out on gurneys. I freak out, thinking that Brad's injuries are much more serious than I thought. So I start running around to find him and asking everyone if they know where Brad is, only to find out that unlike the mall people who all knew us, here, no one did. Then I notice that injured people are being put in bumper boats (that's right, like the game) with poles attached that seem to attach them to the sky instead of a ceiling. (Yeah, I don't know either). I hijack a bumper boat and am being chased by bumper boats with police sirens when I wake up and the dream ends. The next day, I tell Brad that if we go on vacation and he gets injured, that he's not allowed to go to Coney Island OT.
Ok, so I'm a really bad story teller and I never learned the kindergarten trick to shortening stories. Sorry. With that being said, and my fingers tired of typing, I'll end this. My word of wisdom to anyone reading this is to never go to Coney Island OT. It's a trick.

My Lovely Baby Bump

The nursery is starting to come together. The only piece of furniture I would still like to get is a rocker or a glider. With about 3 months to go, I'm so excited! Everyone was definitely right about summer time though and it's technically not even summer yet. So far, the heat hasn't been the major issue, it's the humidity that is hard. Going outside for just a couple of minutes causes a lot of swelling in mostly my hands and feet, but every other part of my body seems to take on some as well. Other than that, I have no complaints. This pregnancy has been such a wonderful experience and I can't wait to meet our little man. I've been feeling him kick on a daily basis now for a few weeks and it makes me smile that he's so strong! :D A few days ago I was at the doctor's office and my midwife was listening to his heartbeat. He kicked the doppler machine so hard that he made her move it. She said he's gonna be a soccer or a football player for sure! He amazes me every day. Of course, my body is going through some strange changes as well. For instance, every day my belly button gets even more shallow. At this rate, by the end of next week I don't think I'll have a belly button any longer. It's so weird! lol Considering I'm only 24 weeks and 4 days pregnant, I figure I'll definitely end up with an outie. :D
I am making enchiladas for dinner, but I'm most looking forward to the Root Beer snow cone that Brad is bringing me when he gets off work. :D He's been so amazing with humoring my wants and needs. He's going to be such an amazing father! I can't wait to see him hold our little boy for the first time. I know I'm going to cry every time I see the two of them together. I hope Easton has his daddy's blue/green eyes that steal my heart every day. The good Lord knows though that if he does have Brad's eyes, I'll never be able to tell that little boy "no".
I'm not sure why I've been so blessed, but I'm glad that I am. I could not imagine a life I'd rather have than this one.

It's a... BOY!

As I was lying on the couch, the OKC Thunder game playing for my husband in the background, I was looking like a crazy lady as I talked to my belly. Actually, I was talking and singing. I find myself singing to my belly a lot these days. Let's all hope this lil' one has a love for music like I do, otherwise, I'm probably driving our munchkin crazy already.
Last weekend I graduated with my Bachelor's of Science in Speech and Language Pathology. The day before my graduation though, Brad and I were blessed to have the unexpected opportunity to have a 4D ultrasound done. As the title of this post says, it's a boy! His name is Easton. Yes, we are naming our son after a baseball bat. Brad played baseball/softball for the majority of his life and even though time doesn't allow him to do this often anymore, he still enjoys every chance he gets. He picked the name Easton and I instantly loved it. Our little boy will also have his daddy's middle name: Edward. Easton Edward Holland. :) I love him so much already! So, in a round about way, he is named after his father and the love of my life. How did I get so blessed?
It's been interesting to watch how our 4 legged children respond to my changing body. Our German shepherd likes to lay across our bed with his head on my belly. He's not a cuddler so it doesn't last long, but his timing is never anything less than hilarious. He has done this spontaneously a couple of times, but most of the time he lays his head on my belly in response to Brad talking to the baby or giving a little kiss to my belly. It truly is as if he's taking claim to this baby and telling us that it's his baby, not ours. :D Also, for a dog who had never showed any signs of aggression or protective behavior before, he nearly climbed over our privacy fence after a strange man that came up to our fence asking about the property behind ours. It was the one and only time we've ever seen this man and he was quite creepy. Brad and I were in the garden when the man approached the fence. When he startled us, Benjamin went crazy. I was a proud momma to know that he would protect us if it were needed. Before and since this occurrence, he has still only showed friendly behavior to any stranger, but there was something different about this one man that he didn't trust and he was going to protect his family at all costs.
It's been a different experience with our Jack Russell Terrier. She has started to follow me around more and it seems that she is always watching me. If there is a shut door between her and me, she sits at the other side of it until I come out. This is a new habit for her. She's always been very independent and not needy. Now, though, she has to know where I am at all times. I am truly loved!
In a house in which many sets of 4 legs have been added and one 4 legged baby tragically taken from us, 2 little feet will appear in October. We are all excited about this little boy's arrival!

Baby on Board

I realized today that I haven't posted anything on here since being pregnant. I am 15 weeks and 6 days pregnant. As of tomorrow, I'll be 16 weeks pregnant. There has been so much going on in my life recently, and I'm not sure where to start.

I am graduating with my bachelor's of science in speech and language pathology in about 3 weeks. Not only am I graduating with honors (summa cum laude), but I've been accepted into the graduate program of speech and language pathology. Such a small percentage of the people who applied were accepted, so this is a great honor. My hard work has paid off. Of course, graduate school is going to be very different though and I will have the extra job of being a mom. However, in a situation where I would typically respond with anxiety, I feel absolute joy and happiness. I can't even begin to explain this feeling. It makes no sense at all. I've been nervous about graduate school for a year now, and of course I'm nervous about raising a child. Instead of the logical equation of nerves + nerves = anxiety, I've been faced with an illogical one; nerves + nerves = intense happiness and excitement.

The only way I know how to turn this into something resembling logic is to state it this way; I've always wanted to be a mother and the type of nerves that I feel towards this aren't truly nerves at all. I'm not sure how to explain them. I'm just ready. Now, when I say ready, I do not mean prepared. Nothing can truly prepare us to be parents. We are going to screw up. We will make decisions that we will look back on and wonder what in the world we were thinking. But, we are ready to learn and make mistakes together with love encompassing our lives.

This all relates back to graduate school in the sense that even though I am a little nervous about it, I don't have to be afraid of failure anymore. I recognize that my fear of failure is ignorant since I've never truly failed at anything in my life, but recognizing this does not make that fear go away. But knowing that I am going to be a mother and that my life feels more complete than it ever has makes me, for once, not be afraid. If it doesn't work out, I still get to come home to a husband who truly loves me and our child who has given me a new purpose. No matter what, they love me, and this reality somehow makes me love myself a little more.