Workout Progress

I have a confession to make.. I took 15 days off of my work out. Whew..there, I said it! To be completely honest, I had no excuse. I wasn't too busy or sick. I simply took a break for a few days and then decided that the break felt pretty good so I extended it. Ridiculous, I know. I was beginning to feel crummy about myself and my appearance yet again. Even when I exercise and I can't tell any physical changes, I still feel better about the way I look. Exercise is so wonderful for self-esteem, I don't know why I ever quit running. Oh wait.. yes I do... I hate running.

Anyways, after taking a break and getting back into the swing of things again with our elliptical, here are my new numbers courtesy of dailymile.com where I log all of my workouts.

Total Miles: 12.48
TVs powered: 123.25
Gas saved: .66 
Donuts burned: 13.06 

Be.The.Change. 

Exercise for lazy bums like me!

7.08 Total Miles

5 Total Workouts

26.35 TVs Powered

0.37 Gas Saved

8.17 Donuts Burned

 

Dailymile.com... I love that when I enter in my workouts, it gives me all of this information! In a week and a half I have ran enough to create energy for more than 26 TVs. That's legit! Guys, it's that easy! I've ran 7 miles. I do around a mile and a half at a time which is difficult because I am so out of shape, but if you do the math, that means I'm only working out about 2-3 times a week. That's absolutely nothing, but it's making all the difference in my mood and energy level throughout the day! 30 minutes, 2-3 times a week and 2 weeks later I've ran 7.08 miles and burned over 8 donuts! I don't know about you, but I'm proud of that. It's a start and I have to be excited about every little accomplishment. I gained quite a bit of weight this summer. The most I've ever weighed was 116lbs. This summer I maxed 131. I currently weigh  127. I'm not counting calories, but I'm making better nutritional decisions. If I'm hungry, I eat. Guys, when it comes to exercise, I'm a lazy bum! However, I've made goal that's very important to me. Brad and I have made the decision and have spoken with our families about our plans to have children sooner rather than later. I've promised myself that I'm going to get healthy again and return to 116lbs before thinking about becoming pregnant. This is more a promise to our future baby than for myself though. The moment a child is even considered, it's not about me at all, but about what's best for them. For a baby to be healthy, I need to be healthy and make living a healthy lifestyle a habit. So, that's the plan! I'd like to occasionally update my progress on here for the simple fact that it makes it more tangible and I'm less likely to quit if I tell a bunch of people about it. Hopefully this works!

  

To All Dog Lovers

We have recently acquired yet another four-legged family member. His name is Benjamin and he is a white German shepherd. He is still recovering from being homeless in the heat this summer and we are still trying to get him to gain some weight. He's  doing a lot better, and obviously feels better, but he still has a lot of growing to do! This makes number 3 for us and we love them all like our own children (children that we don't have yet). Here's this in honor of Ben!

College Life and the Statistics

Through out the past year, I've done a lot of self-exploration and maturing (yes, things that I should have done before getting married, but I was blessed to have married a man who stood next to me through all of my wonderings of who I really am and how I'm going to chose to live my life). In the midst of everything I discovered what I already knew. I realized that I have a few life experiences that not a lot of adults my age have gone through and that I can really relate to people who have gone through similar things. Then, as I became more open with my struggles with anxiety and depression in hopes to be a positive role model, I found that the majority of the people I know are working through the same battle. We may have had different experiences that brought us to this point, but most of my peers relate to my situation. The more vocal I became, the more open and confident others were becoming as well. From here I decided that it would be selfish of me to not step up and be a voice to show how common anxiety and depression are, specifically with college students, since I am one and therefore relate very well to that population. None of us are alone in this, and though I've pulled myself up by the bootstraps with the help my husband, therapist, family, friends, and medication, I still have occasional days that can be very discouraging. However, I'm choosing to be open with it because it helps me and helps others.

Here's a graph that I found interesting:

Two Years Ago Today...

Two years ago today, on May 22, 2010, I rolled out of bed after a restless night of butterflies. I felt nauseous the moment my feet hit the floor. I walked over to the sink in my room at the CCF house and looked in the mirror. I remember literally asking myself out loud, "Amanda, why are you making yourself sick? There's no reason to be nervous about today. Today is going to be the happiest day of your life at least until the day that we become parents." It didn't help. Normally when I've made myself sick from nerves washing my hair helps. I don't know why, it's just the most relaxing thing in the world to me. However, the only way to get my hair to hold a curl is to not wash it for 24 hours before curling it, so that was out of the question since I had an appointment to get my hair and nails done at 10:00 or 11:00, I don't quite remember.

So, there I stood, feeling as if I should appear a pale shade of green and not sure what to do. It was somewhere around 8:00am. Next thing I remember is answering a phone call from my soon to be brother-in-law asking if I was hungry and that he was going to bring me breakfast. At first, I cringed at the thought of food. Second, I was surprised because I couldn't quite believe that Bobby was awake that early and because well, I don't know. It was just the last thing I expected I suppose. It meant a lot to me that he called. There was something significant to me about that offer that really sunk deep and ensured to me one last time before I was officially a Holland that I was already family.

Bobby brought me biscuits and gravy with bacon. I ate a few bites before realizing that I probably wouldn't be able to hold much food down today and immediately the most terrifying image of me walking down the aisle with vomit down the front of my dress struck me. Needless to say I didn't eat anything else. When he left, Lisa and I packed up and went to get my hair and nails done. This was in itself an adventure worthy of panicking any bride. The woman who practiced my wedding do less than a week before looked me in the eye when I arrived and said that she has to leave and can't do my hair. I can only imagine the shades of white that took over my face at this fact. She ensured me that the woman who taught her everything she knows will be doing my hair and then pointed at a girl that, no joke, was half her age. Sheer panic. I couldn't protest due to the fact that I was speechless. I believe I actually said "Okay, that's fine." when in my head I was screaming in a sailor-like manner because of my lack of believe that this girl could have actually taught her everything she knows. My mind just wouldn't accept it. I was lead into another room where they would do my nails first. My toes looked great! That was such a relief! However, my naturally long fingernails which I asked to be painted as a french manicure were not painted straight. I'm not talking about little imperfections that no one would notice. I'm talking about my thumb nails that looked the girl painted them with her non-dominant hand as a practical joke. Looking back, I should have started laughing and asking where the hidden cameras were. This can't be real. Oh, but it was, and this wasn't even the best part. Fortunately, they fixed my nails at my request and the young lady did an amazing job on my hair! I was thrilled! Naturally then, they asked for payment to which they received a deer in the headlights look coming from my direction. The short moment of relief that I felt was long gone and my dear friend of the day, Mr. Panic, took over. I had over looked this detail somehow. In all of my excitement about the day, I didn't even think about bringing money to the salon. Yes, that's right, I'm an idiot. So I left the one person that was spending the day with this crazy bride, Lisa, as collateral while I ran to an ATM only to find that I didn't have enough money in my account to pay to get my friend back.. I emptied my account and drove back to the salon. I gave them everything I had and my wonderful Lisa covered the rest of it. Lisa, I love you! She also bought me a new pair of flats that day because I decided the shoes I intended to dance in were too painful. Once again, I love you Miss Lisa. :D

Chaos aside, we got back to our house and Lisa fixed my make-up. She did such an amazing job and I, to this day, can't repeat the beauty that she created. From then on, this day was exactly as I imagined. It was relaxing knowing that at 6:30pm I would be marrying my best friend. When the time came, I was driven from the building I dressed in to the chapel over-looking Ft. Gibson lake. I walked under the beautifully lit pavilion (realizing I had forgotten the expensive veil that I threw a fit to have, but it was too late to get it) and down the aisle to the white gazebo surrounded by bright colored flowers. There stood the love of my life. Little did I know that the humor and embarrassment of the day was just about to begin. During our vows, the best man who happened to be a lawyer with the same quirky personality as Bradley, handed us a folded piece of paper with which he wrote in large print with a pen "PRENUP". I should have known between these two goofballs and the king of all goofballs(our pastor) that havoc would be among us and to be honest, I wouldn't have had it any other way. When it was time to exchange rings, Brad held out his hand with a straight face and proceeded to place a candy machine ring on my finger. To the audience who couldn't see why I pulled my hand away and looked at him like he was Denise the Menace, I'm sure they all thought I'd come to my senses and changed my mind. I'm just kidding. I knew what I had signed up for a long time ago. Everyone laughed and Brad placed a real and gorgeous ring on my hand. Then the ceremony ended with a kiss, but not any kiss, the kind of kiss you'd expect from a groom who's sole purpose in life is to make his bride blush. He placed a hand behind his back as I looked at him quizzically, then popped the tic-tac that his best man had just handed him into his mouth and, as he kissed me in front of all of our family and friends, exchanged the tic-tac into my mouth.

This day, two years ago, truly set the bar for our marriage. Up to this point, Brad has been able to make me blush in probably 15,000 different ways. I love it though. It has kept us beyond entertained. Even most arguments end in one of us making a funny face and an eruption of laughter. Not only has the humor transferred to our marriage but also the chaos of that morning. I've broken wine glasses from our wedding and cried hysterically for hours. He took apart the dash of his car to fix a chip and the entire dash fell apart resulting in us having to sell the sports car that was the only thing standing between the young us and the old and married us and I cried hysterically for hours. Brad fell while rollerblading and we spent all night in the ER and I cried hysterically for hours. I lost our puppy temporarily and cried hysterically for hours. I think you get the general pattern here.

Brad, here's to many many many more years of chaos and humor. I love you with everything that I am.

XOXO,
Mrs. Holland

New Autism Definition

I'm typically the type of individual that steers clear from having a strong opinion on political matters. I'm actually quite ignorant in such matters, and I don't expose myself to pilitics enough to typically have an opinion at all. However, I've come across a subject that I can't ignore. I've read many articles. I've listened to professionals on this topic, and frankly, I'm concerned.

Currently, to be diagnosed with Autism, you must have at least 6 of the 12 different characteristics listed in the 'Bible of diagnosis' or so I've heard it called. (I'm no expert on Autism, so if I'm incorrect anywhere, please let me know). At this time, Asperger's Syndrom is included in the Autism spectrum so-to-speak. PDD-NOS is also included in this spectrum (Pervasive Developmental Disorder- Not otherwise specified). I recognize the differences between these disorders, however, under this new definition of Autism, the majority of individuals that have been diagnosed with Asperger's and PDD-NOS will no longer be considered in the same spectrum. There are also some who have been labeled with Autism who will no longer be considered to have Autism because of their high-functioning abilities.

A current study showed that 1 in 100 children is diagnosed with Autism. Under this new guideline, in which the specifications for Autism will be strictly narrowed, will drastically reduce this number. However, this does not mean that there will be fewer kiddos with the disorder. It only means there will be fewer kiddos receiving the benefits the government provides for those diagnosed with Autism. I'm beyond frustrated with this. I'm all for being more effective in diagnosing disorders! If we're not going to label this kids with Autism, then can we not still find someway to fund their schools so that they can still receive services that they need? Let's come up with a new label for them. The need will still be there, even if the services aren't. I'm not for excluding families who need the support to care for the needs of their children.

Transportation, Tuition Reimbursement, certain devices needed, 1 on 1 work with a trained Special Education teacher, Speech Therapy, Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Rehabilitation services, Recreational services, Transitional services after High School Graduation, Psychological services, these are a few of the services the law says will be provided to those diagnosed with disabilities, according to their need. Once this is put into complete effect, children who would have once been diagnosed with Autism and would have received the services he/she needed, now has the posibility of being on their own. The school systems funding for these services will reduce and a child who may have once been provided with Speech Therapy, free to the family, will have to find another way. I don't know about you, but this just doesn't sit right with me.

I've also heard mixed reviews on what is actually going to happen to those who are already diagnosed with Autism and will no longer fit the criteria. I've heard 1 professional say that nothing is "intended" to happen to their services. Sounds to me like that's an answer that's not so slightly beating around the bush. I've heard others say that they are concerned that their services will be stripped from them.

As I've stated before, I've read up on this subject quite a bit, but I'm no expert. I'm simply a citizen who's concerned for these families who will be completely shaken by this new definition. To you, I'm praying with all that I have that our amazing God will provide in what ever way he sees fit. Keep the faith! There are people out there who care about what's happening to you and are ready and willing to help. Please let me know your opinions on this. I really want to know other perspectives. If I'm missing something, tell me please. I'd love to hear that this law is going to do some good, because so far I haven't. If you haven't read up on this much, I recommend it.

-Amanda Holland